sweetesting

So it’s like January 2, 2007!!! Yay!!! A Merry New Year to y’all.. The best New Year I had since the last, last year I had! Had drinks, didn’t eat for 2 days straight, haven’t been sleeping for 48 hours.. Isn’t that AWESOME? *laughing* Hell yeah! It is! Coz it feels like, I’m too excited welcoming year 2007.. I’m such a flip! *lmfao*

I was like on a daze.. I finished all the preps and cooking.. Done dressing up myself!!! I should acknowledge Roxanne for complementing me, minutes after the clock striked twelve.. She told me, I look great.. And FASHIONISTA daw talaga ako!!! Thanks, thanks talaga! And also, for driving me away and sending me home which is just a block away from her home bcoz of some guy who’s been hitting on me.. Such a sweet sister!

Chris called and I was like jaw dropped upon hearing his voice.. A bit awkward too, coz the last time I talked to him was when he was at Hawaii.. I was like, "why is he calling me?" I just asked my cousin Bane to get the call for me coz I was checking a few things online.. Just wondring why my cousin was shocked and suddenly speaking english when she’s normally not into that thing.. So it was, Chris.. The Chris who recently posted a comment on one of my posts here..

Peatch called too and the least I expect was, may ipakausap sa akin.. Aba! 3 na sila na kausap ko! We all talked for hours till 6:30 am I think..

So, I just got home from CGPV.. Dinner lang and inuman lang sila.. NEW YEAR eh.. *lmao*

Oh.. and the REAL SHOCKER of all.. I discovered something!!! Something big I guess and something I least thought of, least expect too.. Something that made me CONFUSED! I was puzzled seeing that "thing" really.. *sighs* Just asking myself this question:

"WHY?" I don’t actually want to react on it or give a comment.. But from all the hear-says.. From all the teasers before.. I don’t want to think that, IT’S TRUE! It’s just terrifying and I want to check it out myself.. But, I’ve been on the "hotseat" for quite sometime and some time this month  or the next, I hope I’ll have the courage to confront him..

Right On!!! Happy New Year and Goodluck to ME this 2007!!!

Awww… *sighs* Just when you thought everything will be alright.. Then "SNAP" all of those were gone & worst, you don’t feel like it’s Christmas at all… It’s December 21, 4 more days to go and it’s Christmas, but I don’t feel like it…

First, it’s not that breezy and you can’t even feel the touch of cold breeze on your skin… Second, some thoughts, things are now into running inside my mind and makes me a bit uncomfortable…

Things that, I’d rather keep to myself… A lot of trials are now coming my way "again".. Not that I’m saying, I’m tired of it.. blah-blah-blah.. But, for the love of the Lord naman, Christmas na, ngayon pa ba lahat dapat magparamdam ang mga problems na yan?!?! Honestly, I feel these weird.. Why everytime na darating ang Chrsitmas tsaka naman may mga ganyang stuffs.. Parang, why every Christmas?

I guess, I deserve to be happy in some ways naman.. And for some reasons, I know I have every rights to be happy.. BUT WHY CAN’T I?

It’s just that.. *sighs* There’s no peace of mind for everyone out here.. Even me.. Hmmm?!? Well.. I guess, that’s how it is.. Tata! Cheerio!   

Wow!!! Is this some kind of a trick? Well.. uhmmm.. *thinking* uhmmm… YES I AM INDEED!!!

For the nth time.. Yes, I’m very much In love.. *giggles* Yeah I am.. I guess, for some reason, that’s why I’ve been a li’l crazy the past few days.. It’s just funny seeing myself happy like this.. Often see myself screaming because of "kilig" and having these constant dream.. I never see this coming actually.. But who knows when it’s gonna come right.. It just arrives and happens the least you expect it..

To be frank.. I’ve been a bit disappointed with this Chris guy.. Who during the "firsts" I thought he was this purrfect guy (of which I know nuthin like that exist anymore).. He was kindda bit harsh and I don’t like it.. I just hate him for that..

Now, I’ve been having this couple of heartfelt and heart flattering things, stuffs and it just made me ZOOM!!! Just like that.. I do believe in magic after all.. Nuthing’s impossible and I know my time’s coming..

Wish me luck! I’ve long awaited for this moment, anyways…

Got a great sleep! Thanks for that.. Thanks to Reming though.. Though I haven’t felt her that much like Milenyo.. I do pray too that whoever it is that I know from places that Reming has affected very much.. I do wish them and pray that at least they’re all safe from harm.. To those who lost someone, am so sorry for your lost..

Well,,, got much sleep though I slept late. Still, ‘am happy for I have given  myself what I’m worthy of having. Had a great time though this morning. I’ve met new friends and that sure makes sense for me now..

I’ve been tackling friends for weeks now and I’m glad - I am making a few.. It’s not that difficult, be friends with somebody.. Better that being alone.. It’s just a wonderful feeling! Though I’ve been missing someone and somethin’ lately at least for quite - somebody’s filling all those emptiness inside me.. It’s not everyday that we met new circle of friends so make the most of it..

It only strikes but once, so grab every opportunity that’ll come our way.. Who knows that someone or somebody will bring out the best in us.. Ayt?

Well said there.. We can’t always ask for somebody who’s perfect.. Coz nobyody is.. Now even me.. Not even you.. But for some who knows how to pamper small people and knows how to bring out the best in someone, for me that’s much too far than perfect..

I’ve been enjoying a lot of RPG’s lately.. IDK!!! Guess, it keeeps me going and going.. And going.. I learned to appreciate life more coz even when I met friends from other Countries at least I can say.. Being me can always make a difference and can sometimes brings smile in someone’s face.. Cheering up a friend is never too difficult as long as you’re saying the right words.. You may caught that someone in a good or not so good way but still you managed to cheer them up.. That’s better for me.. Better and at its BEST..

Been busy with stuffs lately.. Been radical for quite some time too.. Been acting crazy for days.. But still there’s life to be thankful for.. That’s what matters most.. I may be in pain for the past few days, but just like the song.. There’s a rainbow always after the rain.. Cuteness and sweetness for me..

As long as I have my family.. My friends.. My loved ones and GOD up there.. LIFE will always be indeed "BEAUTIFUL".. I may be in search for truths behind the lies that covers me.. I may be doing some soul searching to tell me what’s best and not for me.. I may be searching for the "right" love for years.. But it’ll all comes out the least I expect it.. I don’t want to waste my time chasing cars.. I just want to be here, right where I am now.. STEADY (not the literal.. immobile).. But just here, hangin on and chillin’ out.. That won’t bite.. It won’t.. If it does, I still don’t care.. It’ll always be a lesson for me.. I don’t care much what people has to say.. Whether, I’m not getting any younger.. You’re near the "finish line" -  I DON’T CARE and WON’T GIVE A DAMN.. Coz if reality bites and s*cks big time, I can’t bite it back just for me to be ME again..

Life’s a joyride.. Life’s a wheel.. Life’s a rainbow.. Life’s everything.. Whatever life we have - it’s TOO SHORT and we must do everything.. LOVE someone.. ENJOY it.. LIVE to the fullest.. Before we ran outta time.. Life’s so precious to pause and stop - let’s all keep movin’ on FLY AWAY.. *winks*

Tell me if I’m confused or not… Was just wondering lately… OH!!! I just dunno… I’ve been having these weird thoughts… Undescribable… Undefinable… Am I being a fool? A lunatic?! Woah! I just don’t see this coming… Far more worse that what I am feeling before… Lately, I know, I’m getting to be more affable… I guess and I believe I am… I love it! Simply loves it! It was like everything’s making a sense… Being comparable, am I… I am not…

It’s just that I’m beginning to see myself in a more distant way than I am before… I hope to see this on the brighter side… The positive way… But just as I was doing that and beginning to love every moment of it, circumstances just go and come way out of hand. From being happy and all - again I’m back and down to being malancholic… Sober… Well, I know that’s one of the colors of the rainbow that connects me to life, but sometimes things just happen all over again and made me think that,,, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Do I deserve this?

Waaahh.. A lot of Q’s are now running inside my mind.. I can’t even catch up with ‘em.. How I wish I could… But just couldn’t.. Sadness.. Emptiness.. Feeling of rejection.. Wanting and Needing to be LOVED.. Am I alright?!? Or am just SICK.. Tell me..! Sick mind! Nah!

Nuthin… My mind’s havin’ this sort of rumblings.. Kindda like I want to do this.. that.. But i don’t know how to start it?! The guy that I’m now keepin to myself (whoever he is) is here.. But.. Uhmmm..

I dunno….. We talked last night… We had this some sort of talk last night… Goshness! Kindda like "I have this feeling of wanting to see him…"… It was like we had this "tampuhan" for like weeks - almost a month… And honestly… I’VE MISSED the DEVIL in him… I’am an Angel and he’s no Angel for me… *lolz* Oh My! I’m beginning to hate this feeling..

Anyone? Help me please… *lolz*

And it’s CHRISTMAS!!! Wow!!! Naxx naman! The much awaited event for some… Not for me… Pero, before… IT IS! *lolx* Anu naman kayang ibig kong sabihin dun? Not that I’m against it or something… Maybe nakasanayan ko lang na mas nagpeprepare kami for NEW YEAR’S EVE…

We do prepare every Christmas talaga, pero sa side ng Mom ko… Ang New Year time spent with my Dad’s side naman…

Mas intirguing nga lang ang Christmas ngayon, kasi madami na akong mga inaanak… *lolz* Wow! Ilan na nga ba?! AH BASTA! Madami… Di naman na kailangang bilangin… Ang importante, nabibigyan ko sila some ways I can…

Actually, looking forward ako HITTING the MALLS and buying stuffs na for them, for my loved ones, special someones and families… I love wrapping gifts and giving them to those who are special to me…

The most expensive Christmas I’ve encountered was 2 years ago… I ordered a lotta stuffs pa and even paid check dun sa tao… Ang dami talaga! I have gifts for our Crew hanggang sa mga cousins, friends, Aunts, Titos, Mom and Dad, pati Lolo and Lola ko, meron… Lolo na lang ata… Pero, walang nilagpasan… I even gave cash! Grabe na yata ang GENEROSITY ko…

I even spent a lot of bucks for giftwrappers… Ayaw ko yung ordinary… I do bought Hallmark wrapper stuffs pa… Ang taray!

Oh well, tomorrow, I’m planning to hit the Mall and start buying things na din… Siguro, unahin ko muna ang sarili ko… Tama na muna ang Bedroom Stuffs - stuffs for myself muna… Then I’ll buy this nice Comforter for my bed… Then stuffs for inaanak…

Sana may exchange gifts ulit sa’min! *lolz*

Oh well,,, ADVANCE HAPPY CHRISTMAS guys! :) Guess, CHRISTMAS from the top ulit ito… We’ve lost a lot of special and loved ones na kasi… So this, I guess - must be a new and fresh start for everyone… I hope, mas okay ang Christmas ngayon… No more heartaches… No more grudges… No more extra things that can be so irritating…

Okay lang kahit "NTFL" (sabi nga ng dad ko, No Time For Love)… Gewd! Tama bang wala ng lovelife… Malamig na naman ang CHRISTMAS?!?! Okay lang, as long as I have the special people I treasure and love the most with me… Masaya na ako…

AT LONG LAST!!! I’m all well! Glad to be back from a nutshell! *lolz* Good to say that I’m blogging once again… Nonsense stuffs or what, I don’t care…

Just wanna say THANKS MUCH for everything… I may have been sick for days but that doesn’t made me stray too much from blessings, from the friends I’ve met @ the Virtual House… from the people I loved the most… My family who was so dear to me…

You just can’t really predict life… You may feel gloomy, lonesome and sober today but what you don’t know is that THERE ARE A LOT OF MUCH BETTER THINGS and PEOPLE will come your way… I’m glad I did found few people I should be thankful for…

AM I SAYING THIS BECAUSE IT’S THANKSGIVING DAY?!? NAH… Because, I’m VERY MUCH GRATEFUL to those PEOPLE I OWE MY LIFE with… To THOSE PEOPLE who CONTINUES TO UNDERSTAND the REAL ME… Well, just a few of who new found friends… Life indeed is a different walks of "individuals"… Maybe here, there, everywhere, but as long as you all "connect" no matter the "misunderstandings you had, it doesn’t matter coz what MATTERS is THE FRIENDSHIP YOU BUILT and HOW MUCH YOU’LL TREASURE IT…

I’m all well now guys… I hope we could all control the peak of the boiling point,,, I believe that whatever it is… We can DO IT!

I’m happy din, coz I now have - MY kaTROPANG GISING! *lolz* Basta! I hope, kaya pa di ba? Yun naman ang importante… I don’t care much sa differences nating 8… Basta alam ko, masaya… We’re enjoying the game… Hakuna Matata! No worries!

To all those living abroad naman… Happy Thanksgiving! I hope and I wish I’ll have a bit of taste of the FAMOUS TURKEY (whatever or however you guys prepare is) you guys have *lolz* Well, Well, Well… Si CHRIS! Pare! *hahaha!* Happy Thanksgiving din sa’yo… Whatever past issues we had that passed, "churi na!" thanksgiving naman na eh… So, accept my apologies na… Harhar! Hmf! Di ako sanay ng merong di kasundo eh… Miss you pal! naxx! Kitams! Special mention ka pa! Ang turkey, pwede, penge! *lolz*

Yan oh! Mukhang masarap eh! Napanoo ko yan kay Martha Stewart! Haha! I know how to do it na… I have an idea where to buy… Saw a lot @ Unimart, pero siguro - mas masarap, kapag galing sa kaibigan… *lolz* Anyways… Nothin’ much! Jolly na ba ako sobra!?

To my half-sister Nica… Happy Birthday in Advance… Hope you’ll have more happy & better life… You’re still young and you deserve everything! Just want you to know, that "Ate Tin" is just around… I’m just a call or text away… You know how to find me too… And likewise… I miss you! Wala lang… Guess you’re missing much and missing a lot… Well, we’re just the same… Been missing a lot of funs and stuffs about family… But this I tell you… In times of need, everyone may be out of sight or nowhere to run with and go with… AKO?!?!?!?! Just here… Just let me know… Kilala mo naman and you know how Ate Ting treasures somebody especially kapag mahalaga sa kanya… Just be safe always… Love yah sis…

BUT THEY’RE NOT… JUST WHEN YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT, BUT AS DAYS WENT BY, YOU’RE FINALLY SEEING IT ALL COMING OUT… SOME ARE JUST BEFRIENDING YOU JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT… OTHERS BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU COZ THEY THINK THEY’LL BE NEEDING YOU… WHAT’S WORST IS, AKALA MO MGA KAIBIGAN MO SILA PERO ANG DI MO ALAM KUNG ANONG INIISIP NILA NA PWEDE NILANG GAWIN SA’YO… IBA NA DIN TALAGA ANG MUNDO NGAYON… USO NA NGAYON YUNG MAG BEBENEFIT SA’YO… DI KAGAYA DATI NA PAG SINABING KAIBIGAN MO… IT’S PLAIN! YOU’RE FRIENDS… AND ALL… ANG HIRAP DIN PALA GUMALAW NG PURO KA PAG-AAKALA… DAHIL AKO SA SARILI KO, MGA KAIBIGAN ANG TURING KO SA KANILA… BUT THE QUESTION IS? SILA KAYA GANUN DIN?

As much as possible… I don’t wanna doubt it… Coz I know sometimes, kaya tayo i-manipulate ng feelings natin… But this time around, it’s totally different… This time, I have this feeling - a totally different feeling! And it’s plain and slowly killing me… You know why? Coz, from the start what I showed, offered and all that I could gave is TRUST and BE TRUE… But lately, what I’ve been observing was totally different individuals whether they’re worthy of your trust or not…

Really it is disappointing having to feel a sudden change and cold treatment from the people who you thought were "you’re close friends" but in the end… It’s stilll you yourself who’s gonna realize and discover that those aren’t true… I guess, pakitang tao… Nakakalungkot lang talaga… After all what you’ve been through ganun pa pala kapalit. It’s more okay sana - kung isang araw, iCheck ka ng isa… Pero hindi eh… Di ko naman sinasabi na kung ano yng ginawa and pinakita ko, ganun din ang gawin… It’s not that… Suklian ka na lang sana… Kasi, kung ano naman gusto nila mangyari, yun ang ginawa ko… I’ve been straight-forward and HONEST all this time… But this time, iba na napapansin ko. Sort of parang nag gagamitan na kayo… Pag di okay topic niyo, walang kausapan pero pag bigla ka nagShifting… Aba! Ibang level..!

For me, SHOCKER yun… Kasi, di pala pwedend lahat ng makilala mo, maka-internalize mo… Maka exchange thoughts mo, pwede mo ng tawagin na kaibigan… But still, NOTHING’s TOO LATE naman… Yun nga lang, this time - I’LL BE MORE preCAUTIOUS "WHO to TRUST and WHO NOT to TRUST"

I remember how I loved 18… But it suddenly broke my heart for reasons, reasons, unencumbered reasons… It happens everytime and it’s tearin up my heart!  know these has been goin on for years and years and years… But can’t it just go away… It was 13 before but that person thinks that it’s a bad luck or sorta things of negativities…

I just wanna scream and lay it all out! "GET OUT OF MY LIFE"

For certain reasons I know, I feel and I believe that I AM NEEDED… But am I loved?!?

Pathetic hopeless romantic me!!! I’m all covered with uncertainties… I hate this feeling. I wish that I could just turn back the hands of time and be where I was before when I never felt so alone in my life…

Just wanna share this:

Irreplaceable by Beyonce <3

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, thats my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, baby please don’t touch (don’t touch)

And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout
How I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn’t know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout
How I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I’ll be nothing? nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear for you)
I won’t lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Mmmmm
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left, to the left
Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking
You’re irreplaceable

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’ (baby! hey yea)

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)

You can pack all your bags we’re finished
Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceable

There are certain points in life that we all (really) can’t explain… A lot of things… Uncertainties… Happiness… Sadness… Love… Joy… Life… Emptiness… Truth… Faith… Secrets… and most importantly Respect… All of these are feelings, emotions… We may have encountered Mixed Emotions most of the time. But there’s just one thing I know that really lifts one spirits up… That’s Fulfillment and Happiness… Or those lovely things that MONEY CAN’T BUY… Some may be filthy rich… Some may be, just somewhere in the middle, some may not be… But despite all those… Ragardless of how much money you have… Despite the luxuries of life, there are still some certain factors that we can never ever change - not until we run out of air to breathe…

Life is so unpredictable… Life as I do compare like you’re up on stage with Kris Aquino and you don’t know what’s in store for all the choices we made… It’s most likely DEAL or NO DEAL… Life’s a game of chance… That it is "US" "WE" who are responsible for all our actions. May it be good or bad…

When it comes to LOVING, we doesn’t care less who we’re gonna LOVE not as long as we feel the "MAGIC" or "spark" we won’t consider it love at all… Ambiguougs ain’t it? But that’s how life is… We all don’t know WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT… Today, we may all be living life to the grandest… Tomorrow we may be the grandest bi-atch everrr… But still - we all don’t know how we’re gonna leave and embark something to someone special that would make them stop and think that "having to get to know ‘us’ was such a gift…"

Difficult as it may seem, but that’s how I see Life… Difficult yet so BEAUTIFUL to waste things and fool around…

It’s not everyday our lucky day… But still, we should all count the blessings we all received… We may have asked, prayed and dreamed of it for a long time - doesn’t matter as long as we still have one day to live (almost everyday…) - one life to live… Let’s not make others JUDGE US FOR WHAT THEY SEE OUTSIDE or on our PHYSICAL APPEARANCE… But still, people are all the same… They may find us the other way around - don’t care that much either… we’re all the same… If they think we’re fughly and so are they… lolz… =P

Just being true here… Let’s not be affected on how people will judge us… True or not, it doesn’t matter, if there’s someone who knows the real person inside us, it’s "US"

We should just be thankful all the precious things that God gave us… For all those days that we’re overwhelmed with problems, FINE… That’s how life is… We just have to accept the reality… We may have encountered a real deep problem, but God put us there because He knows that we can overcome it… It doesn’t matter much how long it’ll take - but still, BELIEVE that we can DO IT…

So, to cut this short… I maybe "OVERYJOYED" right now, yeah, I do… I do have my reason behind… This is a gift from God that I’ve lone awaited…

*** Btw, Christmas is fast approaching… Well, there are some who are already doing an early shopping and preparations… Let’s just not forget to thank Him our Creator, for without Him everything isn’t like this. Let’s all thank Him for all the obstacles and blessings that will come our way… Consider problems a blessing - for every storm - RAINBOWs are just around… Come rain or shine, there really is a rainbow after every storm, right… LET’s MAKE EVERYDAY, a CHRISTMAS DAY… A day for giving, sharing, forgiving… Life is too short to keep digging for all the things we’ve done on our pasts… What matters most are THE EXPERIENCES and the THINGS we’ve learned from it… Life is beautiful…

Just like what Kim Atienza would always say… "Ang buhay ay weather, weather lang" Very true, we all don’t know… Today we may be on our downfall moments, but we’re not aware on how the TWISTS of LIFE happens… Cheerio! MwaaaHuggZnezzz… -xoxo-